Monthly Archives: September 2005

Cheers to the friendship

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carmen-shine

When we get older, we realise that we can not spend as much time as used to be with friends. One reason is that people grow up. Friends after school go to different paths. For example, some of friends work in different cities; some are too busy to fly over different cities or countries; some even live in the same city but they feel too far and lazy to catch up with friends. However, people’s attitudes and values are changing and we meet more new friends every day.

There are ways to maintain the relationship with old friends is to communicate more. Although the feel for the old friends have not changed much, we need to make effort to keep the relationship updated as well as the world is changing.

Some people might think that they don’t want to bother their friends, but friends might not feel the same way. Take me as an example, I love friends bothering me. I feel very useful to be needed and that is why I love social gathering with friends such as hold a party. The reason for that is too see and catch up with old friends.

It is sad when I think of my best friends are so far way. One of my best friend Shine – we finally arranged to see each other again in the cafe after 1 year and an half, but during our conversation, she kept watching her watch and explained she got 30 minutes before rushing to the airport. I felt so little time to catch up with her, but this is life.

I know she is always being somewhere for me whenever I need her. They are not friends anymore, but are members of the family.

Friend is forever and let us treasures friendship. This is why carmenxu.com for – no matter how far I am; I always share my stories with my friends.

Cheers to friendship!

为友谊而干杯

当我们一天天长大，你会不由自主的发现你跟好朋友联系少了，不象你们在学校时候，虽不能常粘在一起，但至少聚多散少，毕业后各自选择的生活方式不同了，所以我们经历就不同了，价值观就随自改变了。你跟他们交流少了，因有些朋友生活工作在不同的城市，一些多数在天上飞过日子，一些即使在同一城市因住的远而懒得联系，但这不能是借口。但或许这就是我们成长和经历的不同，生活态度和价值观随之而改变。有些朋友甚至说你变了很多，其实不然，只是他们更的接触的少了，甚少交流才发觉你变了，变是好事，这世界需要不断的接受变化。但你对朋友那份心，那种默契是永远不会变的。有些人说“我不想麻烦朋友”但其实不然，朋友不觉得你在麻烦他们。

我喜欢朋友麻烦我，这意味这朋友需要你，他们需要帮助时候想到你。这就是我喜欢搞派对的原因，因为我希望除了大家开心之余，也跟好朋友多点聚聚，分享多点你的生活，不会因时间或空间而变得疏远。 真的很伤感但你觉得你最好的朋友离你那么远，她好忙而你经常不能见到她。我们多想珍惜我们的友谊啊，时而能见见面喝喝茶谈谈天，但聚少散多已是事实。象下午，涵在去白云机场飞去西安之前过来看我了下，我们在酒店旁边的“陆街”Café 坐下来，我几乎1年半多没见到她了，我们的谈话也变得很赶，她老对手机看时间，跟我说我们只有半小时，天啊，我们真的有很多很多话要讲，但我知道她真的很赶时间, 晚上她跟我说，差一分钟飞机就飞走了。但是在我心里我多想留住她啊。

当然我还是那样的爱她，她对我的感情也是这样，无论怎么样，当我需要她时候，她永远在我身边。虽我们会有越来越多的新朋友出现在你生命中，但你永远希望跟你最好的死党跟你分享你的喜和悲，他们不再是你的朋友那么简单，他们是你家庭成员的一份子。每次当你想到这些问提, 它令你思考，让你沉思。 但无论如何，朋友是永远的，我们好好珍惜他们。这也是我办网站的原因，让我所有朋友无论身在何处，都知道我是多么的想他们。

为朋友而干杯.

Adopting an Eastern Child

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I went to Baiyun Airport in Guanghzou today for working and something inspired me to write in my blog today. When I walked inside I saw a party of about 10 couples from the west holding a Chinese or Asian child in each of their arms. All the children had eastern faces. I sat there and noticed that there was another couple that had an eastern boy who couldn’t talk English at all; obviously his parents are from American by their accent. Then I went back home and grabbed a bite to eat in Mc Donald’s, and there I saw more couples with eastern children again.

Actually, I saw a lot of these situations in consulates nearby in Shamian, which is where Guangzhou’s Pearl River is. Then I went back home and coincidently saw a program from ABC News 20/20—“aging out” talking about the thousands of orphaned children in American who are waiting to have a home again, or to be adopted. Well. It sounds dramatic, but it did happen today.

I don’t know if it’s a coincidence to see all this adoption stuff, but it did make me think a lot. I like babies, and think it’s very sweet to see more orphan children being adopted. Nowadays new couples prefer to have there own child, as well as adopting a child from a poorer country. One of my teachers, Lima, who is pregnant, told me she will adopt children；she said: “We will adopt children from poor countries, because there are so many children who need a home or need to be loved.” I think this is a really good philosophy.

What I learnt from today, and what inspired me is “Love does make the world go around”. It shows us that love is not selfish or possessing. Love is giving and showing to a new born child and that they are a gift from Heaven. You can say there is more social welfare in the west and people don’t have to worry about life as much; Meanwhile, China is rapidly developing its economy and I wonder how many years it will take Chinese people to have this thought of giving and not just possessing? It always takes times.

领养东方小孩

今天因工作关系我到了广州白云机场，当我看到一个外国团体十几对夫妇都各抱着有着东方脸孔的小孩子, 他们都对孩子们十分疼爱。然后我在一个地方坐下，同时另一对有着美国口音的夫妇也在我身边走过，他们有个东方小孩，大约4/5 岁，根本不会说英语，自己拖着比他大十倍的行李箱活泼乱跳着；而当我饿了随便在麦当劳吃了快餐时，也被我看到了又一对美国夫妇自己有了一个孩子，另外在收养一个东方小孩。

其实我走在沙缅时，在靠近领事馆的地方看到很多收养东方小孩的外国夫妇，多不胜数，但想到这现象时，让我对生命或人生的生活态度思考更多。在我回到家时，刚好在美国ABC电视台的20/20播发一个节目，讲述原来在美国有很多的孤儿在等待收养，等待有一个新的家庭。这一切一切都是那么的巧合的发生在今天，也许是我这个有心人，它令我想了很多。

我是个十分爱小孩的人，其实当我看到更多的夫妇收养更多的孩子，有种很温馨很温暖的感觉; 现在新一代的夫妇都喜欢自己生一个小孩收养另一个小孩，曾经是我的导师，现在正怀孕的Lima对我说：我们以后也想收养更多比较穷国家的小孩, 因为这个世界有太多的小孩需要一个家和需要被爱！多么感人的一番话啊。

生活的点点滴滴只要你细心留意，你能从中学到很多东西—“地球因爱而转动”！它让我们知道爱其实不是只是占有而是付出。新生的小孩是上天的一种恩赐；你可以说因西方国家的福利好，让他们不用为生活而拼命的奔波；同时，中国这几年在快速发展着，而我们又需要多少年去发展让中国人有这样美好的想法，让爱不再是占有而是付出？这永远需要时间去鉴证。

Live for family or for yourself

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I am an open-minded, rebellious girl. No matter whether in work, in relationships, or in life, I always want to be happy. I know who I am, what I need to do, and what I live for. I don’t care how other people judge me; only that I do my job well. I know if something has too many additions from the normal way, then it will change from the original. Sometimes things that happen in your life make you face your own reality.

My parents are a very traditional family in the Chaoshan area; Chaoshan people are famed for their caring attititude towards their family. I know many friends who have sacrificed their career to stay with the parents in Shantou. They are all very talented and they devote themselves to their family; they give up their dreams and live and work in their hometown. I am not saying that’s wrong or right. Nothing is wrong or right when you see them in a different position. I don’t know why Chinese parents always hope their children should live with them
and keep them in their vision?

My personal dream is this: parents should let children to experience what is life; let life teach them what the real world is about. Then you will try you best to earn money to devote to your hometown. I know it’s my untouchable dream,but I always hope I could do that.

However, I think we are a new generation; we have our own mind, our own dreams, we are educated and we have learnt about different cultures. Is this a reason to give up your own dreams and follow your parents? What about yourself? What do you live for? My friend Shine said: “because you belong to your family”. In Chinese tradition, parents raise you so you can’t belong to yourself. It’s one of the drawbacks. Though we choose to live our life in different towns, even our heart feels tired to strive against life sometimes; everyone wants to
settle down easily in life without worrying about things.

Will we be happy in the life our parents choose for us? Will their happiness be the same as our happiness? Different people have different paths in their life, and there are many routes with no choices. Human beings can’t always be selfish. I prefer that my parents respect my choices and what my life is; but not necessarily the way they want it to be. I hope my parents will respect my choices and wish me happiness. If I am happy, then they will be happy as well. If they really love and understand me, they will respect what I choose and not
interfere with my lifestyle; they will be my guides and teachers, and not force me to down a path of their choosing. If that happens then people become rebellious and struggle against it.

People always have ups and downs and you can only learn from your own mistakes. You have to take your own path to experience what life is to truly learn something inside. Maybe I will walk very hard but I hope I can look back on my life and say that I have finished it without regret.

No matter where I am, my body floats in the world, but my heart is still in Shantou. I love my hometown; I love my family. Without them, there would be no Carmen. But I hope this love is based on a respect and trust that goes both ways.

为家庭而活还是为自己而活

思想前卫带有西方思想而又带有叛逆的我，总希望我的生活简单，无论工作，感情，生活，希望很简单，很开心去做就好，做好自己的本分，不需要太多的外界干扰，因为我知道，很多东西假如有太多的外界干扰，会使它变质。但事实上现实不是像你想象的这么简单，我的家庭很传统的潮汕家庭，是所有人都知道最传统的，最顾家庭的。很多同学为了家庭，父母而放弃在外拼搏的机会，我有很多很有才华的聪明的朋友，都为了家庭而放弃自己的理想。这没有存在错与对，不同的角度看东西的事情不同。

不知道中国的父母都认为孩子就一定留在父母的身边？这样不自私吗？孩子又怎么能永远在温室里成长呢？每当我以前上大学时，上学校大巴回广州时，车水马龙的交通都因为所有的父母护送大学生们离开，在离开时还依依不舍的嘱咐这些或那些。他们都是大学生了，而且几个月就回家一躺，这不是教育孩子的方式。独立的我，总是摇摇头，父母总说我不懂他们做父母的心，或许吧！我的思想是：孩子需要锻炼需要去外面闯一番，然后为尽量为自己家乡创造财富，这永远是
我伟大的梦想。 那我觉得，我们年轻一族，有思想，有抱负，接受不同文化的熏陶，就为了父母想你留在他们身边而放弃自己理想吗？那你追求的生活呢？我朋友涵涵说：“因为你还是属于你家庭，中国传统父母养育 让你不能属于你自己，这也是中国一大弊端吧。虽然出門在外奋斗，内心永远有种累感觉，我们可以理解一个做父母亲心情，他们也不想我们奋斗太辛苦。”我们何尝不想安安稳稳轻松的过日子，但你经历多，有了不同的生命价观，思想就不是很单纯的满足物质生活，而是想充实精神生活。

按照父母给我们的生活模式我们会幸福吗？我们的幸福跟他们认为的幸福一样吗？不同人有不同角度去看生活。我明白生活有很多无奈和责任这是当然的，虽然爱是自私的，我明白父母总想孩子们总生活在一起，但为孩子好的话，应该放多点成长的空间孩子们去体现这个世界。我希望无论我选择什么样的生活方式，望父母会选择尊重和希望我开心，他们看到我的开心而开心，而不是按照他们的生活方式去做人,去生活，我不想我的人生为了别人而活，那不是我要的生活，也不是我的性格，他们是爱我的或了解我的，应该尊重我的选择而不是干涉我的生活方式，可以在旁指导并引到我，而不是强加给我的思想，我会反抗，我会变的叛逆，我希望是我会自动的给予或回报而不是别人的索回。我想我的生命由我自己掌握，好与坏是自己选择的路，人总要在跌跌碰碰中成长，人总要学会每一步自己去走，才学到东西。也许我会走的很辛苦，但我会无怨无悔去经历去体验什么叫做生活。希望我在我闭上眼睛上天堂时，我对自己说，我今生无悔。

无论我身在何处，身在外，心在汕头，我仍然爱我可爱的汕头，也永远爱我的家人，没有他们就
没有我现在的我，但希望爱是种尊重与信任。

My Poet to John

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One trip has changed my life.
Angel sent you to make me smile.
I feel our love is growing.
I’m not one of those who can easily hide.
Love is fragile and should be held tight

I’m falling in love
But I’m scared to let you go
You always tell me “ don’t worry baby”
You make me believe what is “love”

No matter how painful was it before.
You make my fair-tale story become true.
No matter how the story will be end.
You told me your life is just beginning

So many things are waiting for us to experience
How wonderful life it is while you are in my world.

Jazz artist–Madeleine Peyroux

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Madeleine Peyroux a 22-year-old American who had been living in Paris as a street musician, suddenly found herself on the fast track to fame. Appearances at Lilith Fair and jazz festivals, and opening tours for Sarah McLachlan and Cesaria Evora followed, while Dreamland’s sales reached an impressive 200,000 copies worldwide. “It was great,” recalls Peyroux. “I got to perform with fantastic musicians. I got to see Nina Simone live. I could’ve kept running with it, but instead I stepped back and took a breather.”

Many people have compared her sound to Billie Holiday and we tend to agree.Among the songs she covers are Leonard Cohen’s “Dance Me to the End of Love,” Bob Dylan’s “You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go,” Elliott Smith’s “Between the Bars” and Hank Williams’ “Weary Blues from Waitin’,” each a twist on the original — Cohen more haunting, Dylan more joyful — accentuated by an able band and Larry Klein’s delicate production. Her time away hasn’t hurt sales; the album is lodged in the top five on Billboard’s jazz chart.

Well I heard Peyroux voice it’s from the soundtrack of the movie ” Autumn in New York”—Theme song ” Getting Some Fun Out of Life”. Her voice isn’t sound like a 22-pear-old girl; it’s pretty deep and special voice but fix jazz vocals. The ” Weary Blues” and ” Dance me to the End of Love” first came to my ears and I feel like I am in love again and make me want to sway immediately. Good music need to be appreciate and no need to talk too much. Let’s bring a glass of wine or bubbling champagne, play her music, and enjoy the moment.

Madeleine Peyroux 是个才华横溢的女爵士歌手，一个美国女孩现居巴黎，从她的音乐绝对听不出她只有22岁，声线低沉，细腻，柔滑象在你皮肤身上滑过。记得第一次听到她的声音时，在电影“纽约的深秋”家里有这张原声大碟，大多数是爵士的配乐，隔了甚久，她在2004年终于出了“ Careless Love”这张专集，首首歌都让你觉得韵味十足。在第一次听到“Weary Blues”和“Dance me to the End of Love”让我感到我再次恋爱了，瞬间想跟音乐一起摇摆. 好的音乐需要会欣赏它的人去慢慢品尝。让我们拿起一杯红酒或杯香滨，放着Madeleine Peyroux的CD, 好好享受下。